He like, yo, that scorpion? Was like a splinter to that big winged fire droppin’ bastard. Jaime for real shook cuz dude done seen some shit. I AIN’T EVEN GOT TO THE FUCKIN’ DRAGON YET, FAM. Shit was fucking brutal.ī-B-B-B-But wait, it gets worse. The muthafuckas gonna merk any army we throw in front of them. We not bout to act like the Dothraki weren’t out here treating this shit like Harlem Globetrotters, fucking doing dribble drills and passing weapons off each other’s backs while just slaughtering our people. What we not bout to do is act like the Dothraki wasn’t out there putting fucking numbers on the board fam. She like, nah, its cool, we’ll buy more soldiers. Jaime back in King’s Landing (already, lol) and roll up to Cersei’s chambers like, fam, things are as bad as they’ve ever been. She sentenced the Tarly lineage to death and turned them dudes into their own candlelight vigils. She like, bruh, do you see me with an axe? I got a fuckin’ dragon.
He like, you can’t be beheading whole houses out here Queen. Not like, they can say they misunderstood or some shit. Tyrion tries to change Daenerys mind but yo, she did give these cats a very clear choice. Sam The Slayer better hope he was in that will somewhere. Tyrion is like, ok, Houses are just dropping like flies man, can we not, b? Nah, Dickon out here flexing the honor. Tarly: She ain’t my queen, fuck the Black.ĭothraki start to snatch up Tarly and Dickon, who can’t bare to live with this name anymore, says they gotta kill him too if they take his pops. Daenerys is like, ok, fuck it, if he dies, he dies. Lord Tarly sound like he was out here collecting votes to pass Brexit man. Of course, since Stannis is dead, Randyll Tarly is Westeros’ resident unbendable, “rules are fucking rules” head of a great house still standing. See, ain’t that much better? I love how she told muthafuckas to kneel and only like 15% bent the knee, so Drogon came in like, “FEALTY MUTHAFUCKA, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!?!” So, lets celebrate me being a better ruler than Cersei by giving you the choice of joining me or dying a horrible death right here on the spot. I’m trying to rebuild the world for the better. She like nah, I ain’t trying to fuck you over fam. Das it.ĭaenerys tells the Lannister / Tarley armies that Cersei out here lying, putting her name in the street like she just want to destroy their lives.
If I was a Targaryan boxer, my walk up music wouldn’t be nothing but looped Dragon roars with some dragon fire punctuating the beat. Daenerys gonna roll up to the pulpit like Drogon’s roar was her intro music. Dothraki looting these muthafuckas and leading every dude that ain’t currently or past tense on fire to mount Drogon. Just human charcoal briquettes everywhere, yo.
Your boy walking past his own countrymen burnt to a fuckin’ crisp like they lived in a town below a volcano or some shit. Tyrion walking the battlefield thinking this Hand of the King thing was a lot more fun when he was just up in a castle making plans and shit. Ain’t no castle and lordship worth me Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan in the afterlife. And there’s two more, fam? Sheeeeeeiiiiiiit. Who trying to go fight for anybody, let alone on some mercenary shit, when you just witnessed one of the original Firebenders.
Bronn simultaneously tells him that Jaime can’t be going and getting himself killed until he pays what he owes, but also that his experience of fighting dragons was one of one. Bronn is like, muthafucka did you not see that mythical creature spitting Kendrick bars from the sky? The fuck were you thinking? Jaime was trying to end the war and / or never have to see his sister again. After that corny-ass Dragon’s Lair save from last week, Bronn and Jaime wash up 1) seemingly far enough down stream where they aren’t captured by Daenerys and 2) without nary a sun tan between the two of them…aiight. ***Spoilers done developed particle beaming technology and can get from Dragonstone to King’s Landing and back instantly***
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